Assisted ‘dying’ - a reflection

I was struggling with the emotional scars from a past hurt that still lingered from a misunderstanding with someone in a team I was part of.

It hadn’t bothered me for a time, but suddenly it was back,

troubling my feelings of offence about the issue. Jesus has spoken to me about the same hurt a few days before, when he had said, “Neil, just die! “

Do you ever have times when you find it difficult to die to what seems like your justified rights? I was finding it hard.

The last time I felt similarly bothered about another issue, I sensed Jesus coming down from the cross to help me. I remembered the scripture, “He sympathises with our witnesses,” and here he was, holding my hands and saying, “Come on, Neil, we’re going to go through this together!” And here he was again, saying the same thing.

For many years, I used to see Jesus dying for us on the cross as if he were saying, “This is the standard I’m setting for you—you must do the same!” But it all looks different now. I see the cross as his constant desire to serve us and help us. He sympathises with us in our weaknesses. The cross is the eternal attitude of God to us!! Wow!!

A while back, I heard Emma Stark say this about leadership: ‘A true leader shows people how to go where they don’t know how to go because they (the leader) have been there.’

Jesus is the ultimate leader! Here am I, trying to die to a need to gratify my need for some kind of vengeance, or to be judged right in the situation … saying ‘Lord, I want to die here but I find it really hard.’ And here is Jesus saying, “I’ve been there, I can help you get there, let’s do it together on the cross. I’ve been there.. I will take you!!”

Quite profoundly, it suddenly made me think of programmes I’ve seen on television about ‘assisted dying’ in places like Switzerland. I feel so sad for people in that dilemma. Yet it made me think, spiritually, wow, we all know we have to die to sin, or sin’s effort to steer our lives, have we ever thought that Jesus wants to help us die?

I said to the Lord, “I need some assisted dying here too! - not Switzerland but on the cross of surrender. You, Jesus, are my leader who has been to the place I want to get to, but I don’t know how to get there. But instead of just saying, ‘deal with it, get over it, follow me, I did it, why can’t you?’ … you’re saying, “I’ve been there, I will help you, hold my hands, we’re in this together”

I’ve been discovering that the times when I feel most like a failure are the times when Jesus wants to draw closer to me than I ever thought possible - and such times have completely changed my view of the cross - his Father’s desire to help Jesus (psalm 22:24) and Jesus desire to help me (ps 37:25)!!!

I’m sharing this in case anyone has been or is struggling with trying so hard to die to something and who might be touched by realising that this is the moment of God's greatest grace—our constant sufficiency in time of need!