Free to Be Me

Two of the most important questions anyone can ask are, “Who am I?” and “Why am I here?” The answers to these questions form the basis of our identity and many of us spend our lives pursuing them. Who am I? What makes me, me? Why am I here? What’s the point of me? What have I been put on the earth to do?

The ongoing quest for identity is a massive pursuit, one that usually continues throughout our lives, but, in my experience, it never seems more prevalent than when we are going through a tough time. It’s human nature to try and hide behind our work, our achievements, our friends or family, our ministry or church… but when we’re in a wilderness, those things get stripped away. Life as we know it is reduced to the barest elements, and it’s not so easy to hide.

We have to face ourselves.

We have to face God.

We have to confront our fears and find the courage just to be who we are, warts and all.

Our next theme in this Walking Through Wilderness blog series is around the age-old issue of identity. I’ve called it ‘Free to Be Me’.

Our identity can so often be shaped by the circumstances we find ourselves in and what we have been through in our lives. In my novel, ‘Into the Wilderness’, I tell the story of a young Israelite named Joel who had been born into slavery in Egypt, but who, in his late teens, found himself leaving Egypt with the rest of his people, a free man. Joel’s identity had been wrapped up in the fact that he was a slave; that was who he was and who he had been from birth. He knew nothing else. When he left Egypt, his identity as a slave was eradicated, and, even though it was a positive change, he found himself being totally derailed. He knew how to be a slave, how to survive, stay out of trouble, not expect anything more. He didn’t know how to be a free man. He didn’t know how to make decisions, only how to obey instructions. He didn’t know what to do, now that he wasn’t forced to work at the quarry every day.

Your identity is what makes you, you. It’s a well-known fact that, as Christians, our identity must be found in whose we are, not in what we do, which church we attend, or what we’ve achieved in life.

I’ve noticed that, so often when meeting a new person, they are introduced by what they do. For example, “This is Mary, she is an Accountant with (this company)”, or “This is Joe, he is a Personal Trainer and came in the top 50 of the London Marathon last year”. Or, if we’re in a church environment, we often introduce people by stating what church they attend, or what ministry they are involved in, for instance, “This is Jane, she leads worship at So-and-so Church”.

In essence, there’s nothing wrong with sharing people’s accomplishments or what church they go to. But when it’s the first thing we say when introducing them, that indicates that it’s of primary importance. It puts the emphasis on what we do, not on who we are, or even whose we are. How about introducing people by sharing who they are as a person, instead of what they do? “This is Mary, she has the most amazing laugh and is so encouraging,” or “This is my friend Joe, he’s one of the most honouring men I know, and he loves people so well”

The goal-oriented world we live in values success over character. The result of this is that we often fall into the trap of esteeming people by what they do, rather than who they are, which is a superficial and, ultimately, very ungodly perspective.

Our value as Christians does not stem from what we do, but from whose we are. We are children of God, the One who loves us more than life itself... literally. He paid the highest price so that we could become His children, so we would belong to Him. All of us, at some stage or another, will struggle with feelings of inadequacy. For a lot of us, those ugly fears will raise their heads on a fairly consistent basis, which means we have to intentionally keep addressing the question of where we get our sense of worth and validation from.

There are countless scriptures that tell us that we are children of God, and yet, so often, we don’t feel “good enough” to be a son or daughter of God. Why is that? It is usually because we feel we haven’t ‘performed’ well; we haven’t been a ‘good Christian’. We haven’t prayed or read our Bible enough. Maybe we’ve done or said things we shouldn’t have, or we haven’t done what we know we should have.

We measure our self-worth by how we perform. God doesn’t do that. Don’t get me wrong. He doesn’t wink at sin; it is not in His nature to do that, and Holy Spirit will continue to convict us of sin and challenge us to grow in grace until we go to glory. But our worth is not measured by what we do, but by who we are and whose we are.

Many years ago, I was introduced to one of the most astounding scriptures, found in Matthew chapter 3. It describes how Jesus was baptised in the River Jordan by his cousin, John. When Jesus came up out of the water, the Bible tells us that the heavens opened above Him, the Spirit of God descended on Jesus in the form of a dove, and a voice came from heaven, saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

If you’ve heard this before, forgive me, because it is so foundational in our search for identity, I’m going to say it again. The thing that is so astounding about this scripture is not the fact that His Father validated Him so publicly, but that Jesus had not done anything [that we know of] to deserve it, by our human standards. His public ministry had not yet begun; He hadn’t yet performed a single miracle, healed anyone, delivered any demoniacs or raised anyone from the dead. He hadn’t even healed a headache or made a meal last a bit longer, let alone turned vats of water into wine or fed thousands of hungry people. He had done nothing to make people sit back and say ‘wow’! Yet His Father was ‘well pleased’ with Him.

Just like Jesus, your validation does not come from how hard you work, how often you pray, or how many people you’ve ministered to. It is not based on your appearance, what you’re good at, how much money you earn, who you’re married to, what job you have, how well you serve in church, or even how many people you’ve brought to the Lord.

Your validation comes from the fact that you are HIS. That’s it.

Nothing else is required. Nothing else is necessary. Nothing else counts. Only the fact that you are your Father’s child.

That means that, when you’re in a dry, tough place and thoughts of inadequacy come to taunt you, you can look those accusations square in the face and say to them, “Do you know who my Dad is?”

If you have never heard the ‘well done’ of your Father (and, in fact, even if you have), just pause for a moment, right where you are. Put everything else aside, quieten your thoughts and open your heart to Him. Be still and listen, until you can hear Him say, “This is my beloved [son or daughter], in whom I’m well pleased.” That’s what He’s saying to you right now. “I’m so pleased with you. You’re mine! I love you so much. I delight in you because you’re mine. I’m so proud of you, so pleased with you.”

Take a moment and think back to a time in your life when you were at your lowest and ugliest – a time when you felt ashamed of who you were, possibly because of what you’d done, or what you were thinking or feeling. At that precise moment, the Father loved you just as much as when you were at your best. His love is unchanging. It isn’t dependent upon what we do or what kind of day we’ve had. He is not fickle, and there is nothing you can do to make Him love you more. You can’t earn His love because you already have it fully and completely. There is also nothing you can do to stop Him from loving you.

He chose you. He loves you just as you are, right in this moment, warts and all. He loves you because you’re His. That’s enough for Him, and it must be enough for you. You’re all He wants.

Just you.

Just as you are.

Right now.

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Until next time ….

Ask yourself the following questions:

·               Do you feel like you have to try and please God or earn His approval?

·               Do you find it easier to pray when you have read your Bible and gone to church? Or can you pray with just as much confidence, even when you feel distant from God and haven’t been fellowshipping or reading your Bible?

·               Do you struggle to find peace in your heart when you have not achieved much or performed well?

·               Are you frequently restless and driven in what you do?

·               Do you struggle with the concept that God is ‘well pleased’ with you?

·               Do you struggle with feelings of not being good enough?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, bring them before God. Open your heart and ask Him to talk to you about how He sees you. Ask him to give you a

fresh perspective. Ask Him to pour His love into your heart. Receive it!