PULL THE RUGS OUT

In John 12:24 we read, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces much grain.” A grain of wheat has to detach itself from the stalk, fall to the ground and die, in order to bear fruit.

Death has to happen in order for life to come.

Letting go in a time of change seems to be one of the hardest things for us to do, as humans. It’s like a death. Most of us don’t like change; we don’t find it easy. We like to know what’s happening in our lives and to be in control of how our lives pan out.

It’s a very bizarre fact that, a lot of the time, people would rather stay in their predictable lives, even if their circumstances are unpleasant or difficult, rather than make the necessary changes to improve their lifestyle.

I believe it’s because our fear of the unknown is often greater than the pain of continuing to face the difficulties in our lives. That is why so many people who suffer abuse struggle to accept help. The fear of leaving the abuser or making a big change in their life is more insurmountable to them than staying in the abusive situation they are familiar with. Even though the abuse is absolutely terrible, at least they know what to expect. They would rather endure the pain of the predictable than face a change that, although it might be much better, is unknown.

I went through a season of approximately a year where every single area of my life seemed to falter or fall apart, until there wasn’t a single thing in my natural earthly life that was solid and stable. It was during the time I told you about in the previous blog where I was handling a difficult transition out of church ministry. As well as that, we faced significant financial issues, I had to change jobs, my marriage was not in a healthy place, I was undergoing tests for a potentially terminal illness, my relationships with a couple of close friends were under strain, and we had to deal with family problems that we had never encountered before as our children started dating and making their own decisions about important issues in life.

Everything was in turmoil and change.

Not one single area of my life was solid and stable during that time. I remember being so frustrated and desperate that, one day, I asked Father to show me what was going on.

He gave me a vision of a large room with white walls and rugs all over the floor. The rugs were all different shapes, sizes and colours, with varying patterns or pictures on them. Each one represented a different area of my life. I was standing on one of the rugs when, all of a sudden, it moved and was pulled out from underneath me. I went and stood on another rug, which had music notes all over it and which represented my ministry in worship, but before long, the same thing happened to that rug. I quickly went and stood on the ‘marriage rug’ which had entwined wedding rings on it, but that went from underneath me also, then onto the finances rug (which had £ signs all over it), and then onto the rug which represented my job, but both of those were removed. My health rug went quite quickly, as did my friendships rug, and the last rug I stood on was the ‘family rug’; I felt sure that this rug would be fine because we are a close family and have never had significant problems. However, very soon that rug was also gone and, in the vision, I found myself standing in a totally empty room, confused and in a state of panic, with nothing to stand on and no one to turn to.

It was then that I sensed a presence. Turning around, I saw Jesus standing across the room, smiling at me with a look of such love and tenderness on his face and inviting me to come to Him. The room, walls and floor melted away, and all I could see was the compassion and kindness in His eyes as He drew me closer. As I walked towards Him, the vision ended.

The vision was clear and needed no interpretation. I didn’t have to ask lots of questions; I knew what I had to do. My precious Father, in His mercy, had let everything and everyone I had relied on or trusted in fall away, until the only One I could run to was Him. And I did! I ran straight into His arms time and time again during that tumultuous period of my life. That season in my life was one of total transformation as I learnt how to put my trust in Him alone. It was one of the hardest times in my life, but one of the most fruitful.

He proved Himself to me, and I came to know Him as my Rock, my anchor, my source of joy and peace and love and life. Psalm 9:10 says, “Those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for you, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.”

When you know His name in a certain area of your life, you will be able to trust Him in that particular area. For instance, if you have experienced God’s provision in your life, you will know Him by the name Jehovah Jireh, and you will trust Him to provide for you. If you’ve known Him leading you and guiding you clearly over the years, you will know Him as the Lord your Shepherd, and you will trust Him to guide you and look after you, like a shepherd does. When you know Him as your Rock, He becomes the Rock of your Salvation; the insecurities and unstable foundations you had built your life on will be replaced, and you will find a new security in Him.

I found that I didn’t need my metaphorical rugs anymore. He became the only ‘rug’ I needed – and wow! He took me on the most amazing flying adventures, like Aladdin with his magic carpet! I heard His voice more clearly, felt His heart more deeply and learnt to fly with Him in wonderful encounters, just me and Him.

It was a time I always look back on with such gratitude. But it all started with the decision to let go of everything I was holding onto, and step into the new things He had waiting for me.

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Until next time ….

Think through the various areas in your life represented by the rugs in my vision: family, marriage, work, friendships, hobbies and passions, finances and ministry. Ask Jesus to show you if He wants to bring about change in any of these areas and, if so, what changes He would like you to make.