Where’s the picture?

Waiting for something exciting, like a holiday you’ve had booked for ages, or Christmas (especially for children and those of us who are of a childlike disposition ….guilty!) can be so frustrating. You feel like it will never come, and the waiting seems interminable.

If it’s an exciting thing you’re waiting for, you can at least imagine what it will be like and enjoy the anticipation of what might happen. However, it’s much harder when you know something’s going to happen, but you don’t know what, especially when you’re waiting for it in the least exciting place in the world – a hot, dry, dusty wilderness!

Now, at this stage, I have to confess that I’m one of those people who doesn’t like surprises. I’m a planner; I like to know what’s coming so I can make lists of what needs to happen, and especially what I need to pack, if it involves travelling. Another reason why I like to know what’s going to happen is so I can look forward to it. I admire people who just hop on planes and fly off to places they’ve never been before, at the drop of a hat. I’ve never been able to do that.

I even prefer holidaying at the same places we’ve been to before, just so I know what environment I’m going to and so I can make sure I pack the things that we’ll need. I know, it’s a bit sad, but that’s just how I’m wired, and I’ve come to accept it and love myself for it. Actually, my lists have been so useful over the years and have saved us from stressful situations quite a few times, so in a way, they have proved themselves to be a huge blessing! (That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!!)

Anyway, back to not knowing what’s going to happen. Waiting for something you know is coming is hard, but waiting and not knowing….SOOOO much harder! There was a time when God had spoken to my husband and I about something new and exciting that He was leading us into as a couple. The only problem was that He didn’t give us any details, so although we had a strong sense that He was leading us to start up this new venture, we didn’t have a clue what it actually looked like! It took more than three years of waiting, praying, and preparing before it even started to take shape, and during that time, Father taught me some valuable lessons about waiting, or, more specifically, how to wait well.

He gave me a vision to help me understand what He was doing. It was about a jigsaw puzzle. Now Father knows that I love doing jigsaw puzzles (don’t you love the fact that He knows how to talk to us in ways that we relate to and understand?). He also knows I have a specific way of doing them.

I always do the edge pieces first so that the frame of the jigsaw is complete before I start doing the middle pieces. I then go through the middle pieces, turning them all over so the picture is facing upwards, and then I pick out pieces of a similar colour or pattern which look like they are from the same part of the puzzle. I work on that ‘mini project’ and then, when that’s finished, I choose another ‘mini project’ from the picture and find all the pieces for that part. I always use the picture when I do a puzzle.

My Mum was one of these very clever puzzlers who hardly ever looked at the picture. She would just try a piece here and there until she found where it fitted. I’m not like that! I need to see the big picture, get an understanding of what goes where, and then I get to work. So the vision that Father gave me was very interesting because it was the exact opposite of how I like to do puzzles.

I saw myself sitting at the table, ready to do the puzzle, but the puzzle box was blank. There was no picture. None at all. Not even a tiny one. I had NO CLUE what I was putting together. There were also hardly any puzzle pieces in the box, just a handful. In the vision, I took these pieces out of the box and began to join together the ones that did connect (because some were single pieces that didn’t seem to connect with others at all). None of these pieces were edge pieces, so I couldn’t do the frame. All I had was a couple of clumps of connected pieces and a few random single pieces, on a large empty table. I did what I could, but couldn’t go any further because there were no more pieces.

In the next scene in the vision, there were a few more pieces in the box, which I pounced on straight away and pieced together. The scene was repeated and this puzzle very slowly (excruciatingly slowly actually, if I’m honest!!) began to come together. That’s where the vision ended.

Father God is so wise and so kind! He knew that, if He had given me the details of what our venture would look like and how it would work, I would have taken hold of that and made it happen ….all on my own. It would not have been by His Spirit, it would have been by my might, my strength and my own ingenuity (which all pale to insignificance in the light of His incredible power and wisdom), and it wouldn’t have worked. Or I might have given up …tried to change the direction …?

So God very wisely didn’t give us the details, just like I didn’t have a puzzle picture or even all the pieces, in my vision. Instead, He slowly but surely ‘drip fed’ us revelation and ‘pieces’ of the vision over the months. My husband is a patient man, but I am not a very patient woman – or at least I wasn’t. I’m getting better. I’m learning how to trust Him, how to wait well.

Waiting well. Hmm. Still not my favourite thing, but I have to say, it was worth the wait. Not only did we get to do what He showed us, which involved hosting a gathering in our home, but our level of trust and our appreciation of His kindness increased significantly.

Next time, we will delve into another aspect of how to ‘wait well’.

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Until next time ….

Are you a ‘planner’ or a spontaneous person?

Ask yourself this question: am I okay with not knowing what the future looks like?

Can you think of a time (or times) when God didn’t give you the complete picture about something He was doing in your life?

How did you respond at the time? What would you do better or differently now?